Hello,
I have been without a computer for days, I am having withdrawals!! Not really.
I am still with my Dad, he is trying to adjust, but he has to rethink his whole life at this point. He and Mom really didn't have any thing big planned, just living with each other and the comfort and companionship of one another. With a trip here and there. So things seem pretty bleak and lonely for him right now. I had lots of plans in my head too......of how maybe we could all take trips together when Mike retired and have some more fun times. We still can with Dad, just have to adjust our thinking and only time will help with that. I am not sure how long I will be here, Luke is trying to make arrangements so he can come and stay with Dad for a while, he will try and get a job in this area, as he needs to keep busy as well. Someone shared this with me today, and it seemed very special, so thought I would share it with you all:
I am standing upon the seashore,
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean...
An object of strength and beauty I watch her until she is only a white cloud where the sea and sky mingle
Then someone at my side say, "There- she's gone!"
Gone? Gone where?
Gone from my sight, that's all.
She is just as complete as when she left my side, and just as able to bear her precious freight to the place of her destination. Her diminished appearance is in me-not her her.
And at the very moment when someone says...."there she is gone!" other voices shout with gladness, "Here she comes!"
That is death. Death is only a horizon, and a horizon is just the limit of our sight.....
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Feb. 9th - Saturday
Denise asked me to share with everyone some details as Barabara and her make arrangements.
The funeral will be at the Colusa Fairgrounds at 1:00pm on Tuesday, Feb. 12th. At this time there will be the service at 1:00pm, then a graveside service, then a potluck after the graveside at the fairgrounds.
Directions: Take HWY 20 exit off of I-5. Go east about 6-7 miles to Colusa. Just as you come into Colusa, the fairgrounds will be on your right, south side of the road. The funeral will be behind the main office building; Attwood Building.
In lieu of flowers, Joe and family have asked that donations be sent to:
The Sharing Place
5105 F. Street
Sacramento, California 95819
It is a small apartment complex adjacent to the hospital where family members are allowed to stay when loved ones are in the hospital for extended care. Denise and Joe lived at the place for about 3+ weeks.
Some of Mildred's family have driven from Texas to be with Joe and family. Connie and Troy just arrived after driving 23 hours straight. Aunt Bernice (sister), Aunt Geneva (sister), and Uncle Larry(brother-in-law) arrived safely. Jarrod (nephew son) arrived safely from Colorado. Bunch more also coming from Texas.
Again, thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers and meals and care and love and everything this past month. We want to thank the workers; Kara, Karen, Jeff, Mike, Shirley, and Tiffany who have been by our side day after day. Mildred loved the workers and was very comforted knowing they were nearby not only during this trying time, but always; providing strength and comfort and hope.
One last thought. Jeff shared with us near the end that we are really "only one breath away from eternity." As we watched Grammy stuggled for each breath, it really is true; some think in weeks, some think in years, some think in months, but really; we are just one breath away from eternity.
Mike
The funeral will be at the Colusa Fairgrounds at 1:00pm on Tuesday, Feb. 12th. At this time there will be the service at 1:00pm, then a graveside service, then a potluck after the graveside at the fairgrounds.
Directions: Take HWY 20 exit off of I-5. Go east about 6-7 miles to Colusa. Just as you come into Colusa, the fairgrounds will be on your right, south side of the road. The funeral will be behind the main office building; Attwood Building.
In lieu of flowers, Joe and family have asked that donations be sent to:
The Sharing Place
5105 F. Street
Sacramento, California 95819
It is a small apartment complex adjacent to the hospital where family members are allowed to stay when loved ones are in the hospital for extended care. Denise and Joe lived at the place for about 3+ weeks.
Some of Mildred's family have driven from Texas to be with Joe and family. Connie and Troy just arrived after driving 23 hours straight. Aunt Bernice (sister), Aunt Geneva (sister), and Uncle Larry(brother-in-law) arrived safely. Jarrod (nephew son) arrived safely from Colorado. Bunch more also coming from Texas.
Again, thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers and meals and care and love and everything this past month. We want to thank the workers; Kara, Karen, Jeff, Mike, Shirley, and Tiffany who have been by our side day after day. Mildred loved the workers and was very comforted knowing they were nearby not only during this trying time, but always; providing strength and comfort and hope.
One last thought. Jeff shared with us near the end that we are really "only one breath away from eternity." As we watched Grammy stuggled for each breath, it really is true; some think in weeks, some think in years, some think in months, but really; we are just one breath away from eternity.
Mike
Friday, February 8, 2008
Friday Morning - Feb. 8th.
Mom passed away around 6:00pm last night. No plans have been confirmed regarding the funeral service as of this morning. We are in Woodland this morning and will be in Colusa tonight probably. Thanks for all the support. Our different Ministers were there during the day. During one occasion, Karen asked all of us what we all remembered about Mildred and Papa Joe said, "She was not the best in math, or spelling, or science, but she taught me about love and how to love." What a beautiful testimony of someone's life.
We will be in contact
Love Mike
We will be in contact
Love Mike
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Feb. 7
Today mom went onto palative care around 12:30 or so this afternoon. Which means they have taken her off all medications, oxygen, and monitors. The doctors will do nothing more except keep her comfortable. They are giving her morphine for pain to keep her comfortable. She has been declining fairly steady since starting palative care and started breathing very laboured around 2:30 or 3 and is very hard to rouse. Her heart still seems to be strong so she is fighting to live although the end seems to be drawing near. Most of the family is here standing by and waiting.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Tuesday
Mom is very tired and weak today. She is having to have some platelets transfused into her. Her platelets were 25 this morning. I think they should be up in the 90's. When they are low it is more danger of her bleeding. So they are buffing her up, that is what the Doctor said.
The Doctor also confirmed that she has cirrhosis. We were 98% sure she did have that but no one had really said it out right. The rest of her life she will be having to have platelet tranfusions, paracentesis, diuretics and lactolose. If she gets strong and stable enough she will be able to be discharged from the hospital, and she can get these treatments on an out patient basis. Eventually these medicines and proceedures will cease to work and then the end will come. We do not know the time frame or how long she has. But the doctor this morning said there is nothing more that can be done, other than what they are doing. Has been a sad morning around here. Mom has gotten stronger this past week, so we have hopes she can keep progressing. Her body seems to need something different everyday. Yesterday, it was potassium, because of the diuretic. Today platelets, the days before that her abdomen needed drained. So we take it one day at a time. Thanks for you comments thoughts and prayers. We appreciate each and every one of you.
The Doctor also confirmed that she has cirrhosis. We were 98% sure she did have that but no one had really said it out right. The rest of her life she will be having to have platelet tranfusions, paracentesis, diuretics and lactolose. If she gets strong and stable enough she will be able to be discharged from the hospital, and she can get these treatments on an out patient basis. Eventually these medicines and proceedures will cease to work and then the end will come. We do not know the time frame or how long she has. But the doctor this morning said there is nothing more that can be done, other than what they are doing. Has been a sad morning around here. Mom has gotten stronger this past week, so we have hopes she can keep progressing. Her body seems to need something different everyday. Yesterday, it was potassium, because of the diuretic. Today platelets, the days before that her abdomen needed drained. So we take it one day at a time. Thanks for you comments thoughts and prayers. We appreciate each and every one of you.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Monday Morning
Good Morning
Mom is very tired right now, all her therapists showed up one right after another. She tried to talk the PT out of doing his thing, but we both said, "nice try" poor thing, but it has to be done or she will not get better at all.
They are making sounds of moving her out of ICU so that is a positive step. She will be in a private room and still be monitored. They need these rooms for the critically ill.
We meet with a social worker to day. We are anxious about what happens next after she gets stronger, where she will have to go for her treatments. She has cirrhosis, so that is not curable, even if she does not have cancer, it is almost as bad from what I have read of it. The only cure is a transplant. And I do not know if she is a candidate for that or would want to do it if she was. I tried to talk to her a little about it this morning, she just closed her eyes, she is still too weak to deal with anything serious. We really do not know all we need to know, so we are on a mission to find out what we need to know, so we can make some inteligent decisions! if that is possible! ha.
Mom still does not have her vocal chords back yet, seems to take a long time. So we still have try and hear her whispers. She is getting changed from pureed foods to soft cooked chopped up stuff, I wish they would let us chop it after it gets here, but they probably won't, she has not been able to handle the textures of the pureed stuff. She really has very little appetite. A symptom of her illness also, and nasuea at times too. Also a symptom of her illness.
Mom is very tired right now, all her therapists showed up one right after another. She tried to talk the PT out of doing his thing, but we both said, "nice try" poor thing, but it has to be done or she will not get better at all.
They are making sounds of moving her out of ICU so that is a positive step. She will be in a private room and still be monitored. They need these rooms for the critically ill.
We meet with a social worker to day. We are anxious about what happens next after she gets stronger, where she will have to go for her treatments. She has cirrhosis, so that is not curable, even if she does not have cancer, it is almost as bad from what I have read of it. The only cure is a transplant. And I do not know if she is a candidate for that or would want to do it if she was. I tried to talk to her a little about it this morning, she just closed her eyes, she is still too weak to deal with anything serious. We really do not know all we need to know, so we are on a mission to find out what we need to know, so we can make some inteligent decisions! if that is possible! ha.
Mom still does not have her vocal chords back yet, seems to take a long time. So we still have try and hear her whispers. She is getting changed from pureed foods to soft cooked chopped up stuff, I wish they would let us chop it after it gets here, but they probably won't, she has not been able to handle the textures of the pureed stuff. She really has very little appetite. A symptom of her illness also, and nasuea at times too. Also a symptom of her illness.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Saturday
Good Morning
The paracentesis was done this morning. They pulled 2 and a half litres out of her. It is the color of light urine. It came out very fast. She is sleeping right now. The Doctor will have the fluid tested by pathology, they can test for cancer. He said that it can build up fluid again because she has cihrosis of the liver. So I am hoping it won't but if it does, it seems it is not that hard to get off . We will hope she will have some relief from the pressure for now anyway. The results of the test will not be back until Tues. or Weds. The pathologist do not work on the weekend.
The paracentesis was done this morning. They pulled 2 and a half litres out of her. It is the color of light urine. It came out very fast. She is sleeping right now. The Doctor will have the fluid tested by pathology, they can test for cancer. He said that it can build up fluid again because she has cihrosis of the liver. So I am hoping it won't but if it does, it seems it is not that hard to get off . We will hope she will have some relief from the pressure for now anyway. The results of the test will not be back until Tues. or Weds. The pathologist do not work on the weekend.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Friday
Well sorry I have not had time to put this up today yet.
We have found out today that mom has fluid in her abdomen cavity. That is not normal, you should have no fluid or very little in your cavity. So they are going to pull it off with a needle, but so far they have been unable to find a Doctor available that knows how to do the proceedure. I looked this up on line and it is probably caused by her liver. One thing i read was that they can test the fluid and determine if she has cancer, so I am hoping they will do the test. The proceedure is called paracentesis if you would like to look it up. There are some things that can happen if the Doc does not know what he is doing, so glad they are trying to find an expert. One thing that can happen if they pull a lot of fluid at once is her blood pressure can go low. They also have be careful not to perforate any other organs, like the bladder and the intestines.
Mom is quite a bit stronger and if it was not for the pain in her abdomen from the stretching and crowding she would be feeling fairly well I think. She is still real weak, and can't speak out yet.
We have found out today that mom has fluid in her abdomen cavity. That is not normal, you should have no fluid or very little in your cavity. So they are going to pull it off with a needle, but so far they have been unable to find a Doctor available that knows how to do the proceedure. I looked this up on line and it is probably caused by her liver. One thing i read was that they can test the fluid and determine if she has cancer, so I am hoping they will do the test. The proceedure is called paracentesis if you would like to look it up. There are some things that can happen if the Doc does not know what he is doing, so glad they are trying to find an expert. One thing that can happen if they pull a lot of fluid at once is her blood pressure can go low. They also have be careful not to perforate any other organs, like the bladder and the intestines.
Mom is quite a bit stronger and if it was not for the pain in her abdomen from the stretching and crowding she would be feeling fairly well I think. She is still real weak, and can't speak out yet.
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